How to Go from “I’m Bad at That” to “I’m Working on Getting Better”
My son is getting ready to go off to college next year.
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So I recognize that any time I get to spend with him right now is a gift.
About 3-4 times a year, we spend time together playing golf.
I’m not a great golfer. Neither is Max. We have that in common.
Another thing we have in common? Our attitudes determine a lot about our performance.
***
I have consciously decided to stop “being bad” at things in life.
For too long, it’s been a crutch for me. If “I’m bad at that,” then I don’t have responsibility for that thing. I can’t be held accountable. It’s just the way I am.
It’s one giant shrug to the universe.
That approach hasn’t done me many favors in life.
Why? Because I live up to my own expectations. And when I expect to fail, I usually do.
Unfortunately, there are some things in life that you can’t excuse away by not being good at them.
Even if you aren’t naturally good in a particular area, you need to put in the work to be at least competent.
Saying I’m not good enough is an excuse. But as an excuse, it isn’t good enough.
***
When it’s just Max and me on the course, he tends to get really down on himself. When we play alone, he constantly says, “I suck at this game.”
But when we are paired up with strangers, which happens every so often, Max isn’t able to complain the whole time. He instinctively knows that won’t go over well. So he is down on himself a whole lot less.
And his golf game is suddenly a whole lot better.
Instead of giving himself an excuse to not perform, he’s actually trying to play well. It works. Just like that.
I’ve learned that the way you talk to yourself is directly related to the way you perform, in business and in life.
There are certain things I am not great at. Golf is, without a doubt, one of them.
But who does it help for me to complain about how I’m not any good? Instead, I say something like this: “I’m not great at golf, but I am really trying to get better. I’m working on it.”
It doesn’t give me the emotional cover of judging myself before anyone else can judge me. It’s also a more honest approach.
I’m not suggesting you pretend to be amazing where you are objectively, not great. But if you decide to spend your time on something, you may as well put in some effort and try to enjoy yourself.
***
Do I care about being good at everything? I don’t, and neither should you.
Some things, though, are worth the effort. They’re important, even if you don’t particularly like them.
One personal example: comp plans. I hate putting together compensation plans; I really do. But at a certain point, that is a limiting problem because my job requires me to put together comp plans.
Instead of telling myself (and others) I’m not any good at them, I should probably put that energy toward getting better at comp plans.
You need to know yourself. You may never love or be amazing at certain activities. As much as possible, you want to lean into your strengths.
But there are some areas where you will be negatively impacted if you don’t improve.
And the easiest way to get better: start by telling yourself a different story.
“I’m not great today. I’m learning. I’m getting there.”
PS – This is another example of the head trash that most entrepreneurs struggle with. Our Executive Coaching program can help you figure out where your head trash is holding your business back. Set up a time with our team to learn more.
